The Truth About Long Distance Engagement

Long distance engagement brings with it a unique set of joys and challenges. You’re not just planning a wedding—you’re preparing for a lifetime, often without being able to sit across the table from each other.

Here are some of the most common challenges long distance engaged couples face, and biblical encouragement to help you overcome them.

1. Emotional Loneliness

There’s something about being engaged that makes you want to do everything together—celebrations, errands, prayer, even folding laundry. But when you’re in a long distance engagement, you have to deal with doing a lot of those things solo. That loneliness can sneak in unexpectedly.

Scripture:
“Be strong, and let your heart be courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord.” — Psalm 31:24 (CSB)

Godly advice:
Take your loneliness to the Lord before you take it to your fiancé. Journal it, pray through it, and allow God to fill the emotional gaps before expecting your partner to. Schedule intentional weekly “together” moments like virtual date nights, devotionals, or worship sessions.

2. Communication Breakdowns

Without body language and proximity, communication missteps can quickly turn into arguments or resentment. Even the most well-meaning texts can be misread when emotions are high or you’re missing your person.

Scripture:
“My dearly loved brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” — James 1:19 (CSB)

Godly advice:
Over-communicate with grace. Use video calls to talk things out rather than long texts. Make room for silence when needed. And don’t just talk—listen, especially when it’s uncomfortable. Schedule regular check-ins that aren’t just about logistics, but about how your hearts are doing.

3. Spiritual Disconnect

One of the most powerful parts of engagement is growing together spiritually. But long distance can create a feeling of disconnection if you’re not intentional about keeping God at the center together.

Scripture:
“For where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there among them.” — Matthew 18:20 (CSB)

Godly advice:
You don’t have to be in the same place to be in the same spirit. Do a Bible reading plan together. Send voice memos praying over each other. Use apps like YouVersion to share devotionals. Make it a priority to feed your relationship spiritually, not just romantically.

4. Planning Fatigue

Wedding planning is already stressful—add in travel schedules, time zone differences, and separate lives in different cities, and the fatigue can hit fast. It’s easy to feel like you’re doing too much while still not doing enough.

Scripture:
“Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up.” — Galatians 6:9 (CSB)

Godly advice:
Divide responsibilities based on bandwidth, not just tradition. Ask for help from family, friends, or a wedding coordinator. And take planning breaks together where you do nothing but laugh, rest, or dream about married life.

5. Physical Boundaries

Let’s be real: when you do get to see each other, physical desire is strong—and that’s by design. But purity is still God’s standard, and long distance can create a feast-or-famine mindset that makes boundaries hard to maintain.

Scripture:
“Flee from sexual immorality… You are not your own, for you were bought at a price. So glorify God with your body.” — 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (CSB)

Godly advice:
Talk honestly about your physical limits before your visits. Set up accountability. Sleep in separate spaces. Focus more on connection than temptation. Boundaries are not punishment—they’re protection, and they build trust for your future marriage.

Thriving in a Long Distance Engagement with Godly Wisdom

Through all the challenges, long distance engagement can still be a gift. Here’s how Jason and I are choosing to thrive in this season:

• We prioritize prayer over pressure. We pray with each other and for each other, asking God to shape our hearts before He shapes our timeline.
• We stay purpose-driven. We remind each other why we’re doing this—not just to have a wedding, but to have a marriage that reflects God’s love.
• We invite community. Trusted mentors, friends, and spiritual advisors walk with us through the highs and lows.
• We protect our peace. We don’t compare our journey to others’. Our love story is ours—and God is writing every line.

Practical Tips for Long Distance Engagement Success

Here are a few final practical tips that can support your long distance engagement:

• Create a shared calendar so you know each other’s availability and can plan intentional time.
• Mail handwritten letters or small gifts as surprises.
• Celebrate small wins, like a full week of good communication or a productive planning session.
• Plan visits with purpose, not just passion.
• Fast and pray together when things feel spiritually heavy.
• Speak life over your engagement using scripture affirmations.

A Simple Prayer for Long Distance Engagement

Father God, thank You for the gift of love—even across the miles. Strengthen our hearts and unite our spirits as we prepare for marriage. Teach us to love like You do—patiently, intentionally, and selflessly. Guard our minds from doubt, our bodies from temptation, and our spirits from discouragement. May we glorify You in every message, moment, and mile. In Jesus’ name, amen.

I know this journey isn’t easy. There are days I wish Jason and I could just skip to “I do” and be done with the distance. But I also know God is using this season to shape us for the covenant ahead. Every time I board a plane back to Chicago, I leave with a little more hope, a little more strength, and a whole lot of love.

If you’re in a long distance engagement too, I’d love to hear from you. Jason and I are praying for other couples on this journey. Drop a comment, DM us on social, or reach out via the contact page—we’re here for you.