Jason & Amberly

@chateaumills

Wedding Details

Friday, 29 August 2025
Doors open at 4:30pm

Adult only reception

Chicago, IL
+1 518-952-1338

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  •  Marriage   •  Mourning the Wedding I Thought I’d Have
Mourning the Wedding I Thought I’d Have

As a bride, I’ve had to mourn so much of what I thought my wedding planning process would be like.

I didn’t expect to carry grief alongside gowns. I didn’t plan for tears that weren’t just about joy. When I imagined wedding planning, I saw celebration. Sparkles. Sisterhood. I envisioned laughter over Pinterest boards, dress shopping with my girls, and every ‘yes’ moment feeling like a movie scene. But real life came, not always in white and lace—but sometimes in shadows and silence.

There were moments I found myself grieving the absence of certain people. Friends who drifted. Family who didn’t support in the way I thought they would. I had to sit with the pain of unmet expectations and whispered disappointment. I realized I wasn’t just planning a wedding—I was navigating the bittersweet terrain of growing into a new season, and not everyone could—or would—come with me.

Some days, it felt like I was mourning a dream. The dream of ease, of community wrapping around me like tulle. But what I was given instead? Depth. Intimacy. Dependence on God. And a clearer view of what—and who—really matters.

Jason has been my steady place. His presence reminds me that this wedding, this marriage, is about us and God—not perfection, performance, or pleasing everyone else. I’ve come to understand that the wedding isn’t the reward. The covenant is. The peace in knowing I’m becoming one with someone who sees the tears, the fatigue, and the fight—and chooses me anyway—is more precious than anything I could’ve planned.

I don’t write this for sympathy. I write this for every bride who’s quietly grieving the wedding she thought she’d have. I see you. You’re not alone in the moments when the joy is interrupted by loss. God is present in both.

This season is sacred—not because everything goes right, but because God writes something beautiful in what feels broken.

Here are a few truths I’m holding onto:

  • It’s okay to grieve. Mourning unmet expectations doesn’t make you ungrateful—it makes you human.
  • You can feel joy and grief at the same time. They aren’t enemies. They can walk together.
  • God can be trusted. Even with the details that didn’t unfold the way you hoped.
  • Love is still the center. Even if the journey looks different, love is still leading you to the altar.

“I wasn’t just planning a wedding—I was navigating the sacred work of letting go, trusting God, and learning what truly matters.”

Scriptures for the Bride Who’s Mourning:

  • “The Lord is near the brokenhearted; he saves those crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18 (CSB)
  • “You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result.” – Genesis 50:20 (CSB)
  • “I know the plans I have for you” — this is the Lord’s declaration — “plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11 (CSB)

A Prayer for the Bride in Mourning

Lord, thank you for seeing my heart in every moment of this journey. When the plans fall through, when the people I expected to walk with me don’t, when the joy feels distant—be my anchor. Remind me that the beauty of this season is not found in perfection, but in your presence. Let my wedding planning reflect your faithfulness more than my expectations. Amen.

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